Cassini Jupiter

Who Ya Gonna Call

I dreamed about my dead ex-girlfriend.  In the dream, she teased me about thinking that she was dead and called me morbid.  When I woke up, I wasn't sure what timeline I was in.
Cassini Jupiter

(no subject)

America was founded by people who were escaping oppression and yearning to be free. Upon arrival in the New World they established religious freedom, except for those people who weren’t religious enough, or were suspected of witchcraft, or were Catholic, or who adhered to some silly pagan faith like those practiced by the Indians whom the colonists encountered. The colonists then set about building a new nation in which all men were created equal, as long as those men weren’t women, or something other than European, or poor. Along the way, mistakes were made (haven’t you ever made a mistake?), and sadly, Native Americans died in large numbers because they didn’t have resistance to the diseases brought over from Europe, or the bullets we occasionally were forced to fire at them when they weren’t willing to let us live on their land, or when they didn’t show sufficient appreciation for the nice spot we had made for them in Oklahoma.

Also, Africans were brought to America and held in bondage as slaves, which was wrong. But most were treated reasonably well by their masters because you can’t get much work out of a slave if you kill him or chop off his arms or his foot like John Amos in that movie, Roots. And remember, slavery has existed everywhere, and back then everyone believed in slavery — well, except the slaves or the abolitionists — so, ya know, you can’t judge that period by today’s moral standards. It’s not like the human brain was capable of supporting liberty and freedom as far back as 200 years ago! So stop living in the past. At some point we have to move on. Mistakes were made. Haven’t you ever made a mistake?

And yes, after slavery, we had a new racist system known as segregation, but that too was ultimately defeated because Americans stood up and said “no” in the civil rights movement, after hearing Martin Luther King Jr. tell them about his “dream.” So even though mistakes were made, the system was corrected. I bet you’ve made mistakes. And I bet you didn’t correct them as quickly as America.

Also, we have never started a war with anyone. We have only acted in self-defense or in defense of our immediate interests. Mistakes have been made, (and haven’t we all made mistakes?), but our intentions are good and we are always defending ourselves.

This was true with the Indians whom we had to kill to keep them from scalping us when we would try and take their land.

And it was true with Mexico, when they tried to keep us from annexing part of their country known as Texas, which we had to annex, because some of our slaveholders had gone there and declared the area independent of Mexico, and we had to defend those slaveholders because Mexico was led by a corrupt dictator, and because they might have tried to retake the territory that our slaveholders had taken from them, and that would have been unfair, because the slaveholders had only been able to enjoy it for like a year.

And it was true when we intervened to support the overthrow of the government of Hawaii in 1893, after the Queen decided not to abide by the previous Constitution stripping most non-whites of the right to vote, which some American businessmen (also known as “job-creators”) had previously forced upon the nation. Although some mistakes were made (like you’ve never made a mistake), we had to defend our interests. We needed pineapples and nice beaches. I mean, have you ever actually been to Panama City, or Rockaway?

And it was self-defense that motivated us in the Philippines at the turn of the 20th century, when we had to kill around a million men, women and children just to make sure that we would have control of that country, rather than the Spanish imperialists who had been in control of it before. We were liberating the Filipinos from those awful Spanish who were trying to control them, so that we could show them the proper way to run a country. Mistakes were made, but we did it for their own good. I bet when you’ve made mistakes it wasn’t for someone else’s good, it was all for you, you, you. Because you’re selfish, unlike America.

And it was self-defense that propelled us forward in Nicaragua in the 1920s, when we sent Marines there to capture a horrible, evil terrorist who had the support of the citizenry, but only because they didn’t understand that he was a horrible, evil terrorist. After we invaded their country, Nicaraguans began shooting at us, so we had to shoot back. I mean, that’s self-defense. What would you have done? Let them shoot you? That was one mistake America was not going to make, that’s for sure.

And when we went to war in Southeast Asia, it was all about self-defense too. We had to protect the South Vietnamese from the communist leader in the north, and so we bombed them. No, not the north. We bombed the south. So they would realize what a bad guy that communist in the north was. But some people are hard-headed and don’t learn the lessons we’re trying to teach them in a timely manner. So we kept at it for a decade, bombing Laos and Cambodia too, because they were also insufficiently scared of the communists, and if they became communists, pretty soon, we’d have all been speaking Vietnamese, or Chinese, or Lao, or something else Oriental, because it’s like dominoes. If one falls they all fall. And yes, mistakes were made in the war, and we ended up losing, but that’s because we didn’t bomb them enough, because hippies wouldn’t let us. So we lost, and Vietnam went communist. And yes, we’re still speaking English but that’s not because the domino theory was wrong, it’s just because English is better.

And Iraq in 1991 and again in 2003? Both self-defense! In 1991 we had to attack them because they invaded Kuwait and might have taken Kuwait’s oil, which we need to drive our cars and stuff. And in 2003, we had to invade because Saddam Hussein might have had the ingredients to make weapons of mass destruction, since we and our companies had sold him the ingredients, and then he might use them like that time he used them against Iran, or the Kurds. Only this time, we’d actually give a shit, because he might sell them to al-Qaeda, and then they might use them on us the next time they fly planes into some of our buildings, because even though Saddam and al-Qaeda hated each other, you can’t really trust Muslims, because Mohammed commanded them to kill us all, like on 9/11.

Oh yeah, and speaking of that: 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11. Did we mention 9/11?

In other words, we’ve had our problems and mistakes have been made, but we’re still the greatest nation that ever existed and ever will exist. God bless America.
Cassini Jupiter

Hush Little Baby

Clearly you should kill the mockingbird in order to get the diamond ring, but be satisfied with the ring because nothing you can buy at the Five-and-Dime will be worth as much.
Cassini Jupiter

What Dreams May Come

The Singularity had happened. I was still in the army. I had been ordered to find ways to apply the new technology to military purposes. I walked in on this family. I knew that they despised me for being in the army and still following the old ways. I walked through their house which they kept unlocked because no one need fear any more. I knew that even if I trashed the place they'd be able to fix it with trivial effort. I went out back where I knew a family of foxes nested and some earthworms lived. I wanted to find natural responses to military situations. The brush where they had lived had been cut back. I went back to the people who lived there to confront them about having trimmed their wild growth. I found them, two women and a man, sitting in their driveway cleaning and repairing old car parts. One of the women was arguing with the other; saying that the car was a piece of trash and should just be junked. The other woman said that the car had sentimental value. The car was something that her ex-husband had made her buy so that she could work and he wouldn't have to. She complained about how lazy and worthless her ex was. I told her that everything had changed and that she should let go of her old anger towards him. I realized that I had changed too. I wasn't going to wear the uniform or take orders anymore.